Journal


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Victory of Will

How do you know when you're tired? That is, how do you distinguish between physical exhaustion and your mind trying to convince you that you're tired? The mind and body have a unique and dynamic relationship. In this matter there is a conflict fought on three fronts - physical exhaustion, psychosomatic physical exhaustion and willpower. The winner in this battle affects the very core of your being, many people can be lumped into a broad category with one of these as a primary definition. It is an interesting matter for me to consider, a playful notion. The winner of this struggle has different implications when introduced into a complex life as is every humans and perhaps life requires a measure of each with no decisive domination. I don't believe that is the case with all the knowledge I have; which is of course the knowledge I have of myself. Willpower will reign, I decide. Read Full Post...

Posted by Travis at 01:23PM 09/12/2009 - View/Post Comments [42]

Report After Week 1

Yesterday I did resistance training plus a good cardio workout of 35minutes or so with 2minutes break between a couple of rounds on the treadmill. I have some problems with impact because I am so heavy and quite tall; sitting at a desk for many years has damaged my knees thanks to some awkward bending habits when sitting. Today I did 8minutes on the treadmill at quite a slow speed of 5.5 (about a brisk walk for me) but then my feet started to hurt - something I have developed the last few years somehow.

I jumped on a bike and did 23minutes on resistance 15 (out of 20 max) and sometimes chopped back down 11 which was too easy (11 was the setting of my first cardio workout where I struggled to do 10minutes one week ago). My heart rate was an average of 149 (according to post-workout computerized summary) I felt good and I felt my endurance had definitely improved, I am learning that physical endurance is second to mental endurance - I don't have to stop pedaling unless I give up (within reason of course). At the end of the workout I felt energized and had a strong sense of achievement, I feel very productive at the gym; one day at a time working towards my goals... Read Full Post...

Posted by Travis at 12:01PM 08/12/2009 - View/Post Comments [166]

Chaotic Ramblings Episode 1

I almost died; it only takes the crossing of an invisible line to go from obese to disgusting, bed ridden abomination. It was always in my mind over the years, as I felt the changes one by one, as I got fatter I always knew that if I kept going I would become it. Become the ultimate disgustingness. Waking up to my future saved me. Now that I have begun a healthy lifestyle change I need to make others, my whole day including eating habits are centered on my going to the gym. I wake up at about 8am, I eat a breakfast usually muesli, I head to the gym and workout at 10am, arrive home after 11am cool down and have a small meal then shower. The problem comes after I have showered I have completed my daily purpose; I need to have other daily purposes. The reason is to challenge myself to defeat laziness, apathy, lethargy.

I am feeling more energetic since exercising daily, I feel or felt so lazy when I was doing nothing, I would eat whatever, sleep whenever and have not a care in the world; I still wanted to change but I was so fatigued and lazy to do anything. With this fervent need to fill in the gaps with work, friends & family I will procrastinate no more and I must create the opportunities to defeat my laziness; invoking positive defeats the negative. It's hard not to be bored out of your mind when you lose interest in everything in your life. I would trade all of my experiences in the last 7 years for a normal life, that's something I have never had and I realized I've been yearning for it my whole life.
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Posted by Travis at 01:16PM 07/12/2009 - View/Post Comments [47]

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The key to life is ATTITUDE.

Last Weigh In...

161.50kg

02/12/09 - 19/01/10 loss of 12.9kg
&

Latest Posts

round n round we go
Posted by Travis at 02:30AM 20/02/2010
Low Life
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A Chick Named Megan
Posted by Travis at 08:28PM 18/02/2010
.
Posted by Travis at 06:49AM 15/02/2010
Evolving still
Posted by Travis at 04:08AM 05/02/2010
Rolling the Dice
Posted by Travis at 02:18AM 04/02/2010
Disavow Disavow Disavow
Posted by Travis at 02:15AM 04/02/2010
To Breathe in a Casket
Posted by Travis at 02:00AM 04/02/2010
Some Title
Posted by Travis at 03:16PM 02/02/2010
Something Unexpected
Posted by Travis at 08:04PM 23/01/2010

Bits and Pieces

Intelligence has its place in survival and in breeding but beyond that ours is a curse to our species. Knowing all this life must be pointless for me right? Wrong. Knowing these things gives me the clarity to recognize this world as my playground, this life as my dream. In meaninglessness I find freedom, the freedom I need to enjoy my time.
From Chaotic Ramblings Episode 2

What's it all about?

Faced with some serious consequences of an indulgent lifestyle I decided it was time for a change. This site is primarily to serve as a means to record and track the progress of my primary focus right now - getting fit and healthy through exercise and healthy diet. By recording my progress I am able to measure how far I've come. It is also an outlet for my thoughts and an important record of the changes in my life; writing is a mixture of 'diary' and posts directed outward.

Special Thanks To...

Inga, Fabio, George & Gemma from Les Mills New Lynn. Possum. Last but not least my Father, Kerry.

Disclaimer

All writing is UNEDITED and is the result of what some call "stream of conciousness", as such there may be spelling and grammar errors and/or nonsensical passages. It is not my intention to offend anyone so please don't be.